


when gravity's pulling (you're still holding my heart)

by gilligankane



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilligankane/pseuds/gilligankane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca isn’t sure how she got here.</p><p>Well, she knows how she got here, in this house, with these girls. She knows all about the real estate process too. But she isn’t sure how she got here: Laying on her bed with her laptop in her lap and her legs bent at the knee, feet flat so Chloe can paint her toenails while she goes over the Bellas history with Legacy and answer every question about the Beca-and-Chloe (fake) dating thing.</p><p>It’s this part of her life she isn’t so sure about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when gravity's pulling (you're still holding my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written anything in 2+ years so (1) go easy on me, (2) blame Kay. In that order.
> 
> Minor spoilers for PP2.
> 
> Title belongs to Mat Kearney's 'Crashing Down'

“Aca-emergency!”

 

Beca looks up in a panic. “Lily killed someone?”

 

Chloe collapses onto Beca’s bed. “No,” she breathes out heavily.

 

“Stacie is pregnant?” Beca is mentally running through the list of things Chloe decided would be worthy of being an ‘aca-emergency’. There’s an actual list but Beca never took the time to memorize it.

 

“ _No_.”

 

Beca bites her bottom lip before her eyes go wide in horror. “Oh my god, did Amy flash her… little Amy again?”

 

“No!” Chloe stands up and crosses the distance between Beca’s bed and desk in two steps. It takes Beca at least four. She grabs Beca’s hands tightly, stepping in close. Freshman-Beca would have – _did_ – cringe and step back and demand that this is her bubble, and that is Chloe’s bubble, and never the two shall meet. Senior-Beca just tries not to breath heavily so Chloe doesn’t realize she’s been eating non-Bella approved FUNYUNS.

 

“Emily said that you and I made a cute couple and I said ‘thank you’ back to her.” Chloe’s eyes are wide, searching Beca’s.

 

Beca laughs. “Oh, that’s not an emergency. Just go tell her we’re not.”

 

Chloe grips Beca’s hands tighter.

 

“Dude, ouch.”

 

“She thinks we’re _dating_ , Beca.”

 

“So go tell her we’re not, Chloe.” Beca doesn’t see the problem, but there must be one, because Chloe’s eyes are that particular type of wide; wide eyes that mean they’re being pushed out of the collegiate acapella world, or she’s not graduating again, or no one has pledged in two years. This type of wide eyes means that Chloe is going to ask Beca for a favor that Beca doesn’t want to say yes to, but she will.

 

“I don’t want to let her down. I want her to like us.”

 

“Dude, she liked us before when she didn’t think that.”

 

Chloe shakes her head. “What if she thought that the whole time? What if that’s the only reason she pledged? Because we’re dating.”

 

“That’s not the only reason,” Beca interjects.

 

“What if it is? What if she was never going to pledge, legacy or not, and then she thought we were dating and is only a Bella because of us?”

 

Beca grits her teeth. “Stop saying ‘dating’, would you? This is ridiculous, Chloe. I’ll go tell her.”

 

Chloe’s grip becomes impossibly tighter. “Don’t. Beca, _don’t._ ”

 

It’s the pleading that stops Beca. She’s got this thing for Chloe’s voice when it’s like that, a soft spot. It washes over Beca’s insides and makes her stomach flop. She can’t stand to hear Chloe’s voice like that, desperate and begging. It was the big doe eyes and the pleading that got her to audition and to dress the Barden statue after their Nationals win. It’s this kind of pleading that led to a karaoke showdown with a drag queen sophomore year. It’s the pleading that had Beca collecting signatures from all the Bellas last year so that they could get their house. Those eyes, that voice – Beca blames 9 out of 10 crazy decisions on them. It’s tradition to hear Chloe plead like that and dive headfirst into something with her eyes closed.

 

So Beca doesn’t. She stays where she is and sits back down on her bed and for the rest of the night, let’s Chloe plot out a relationship for them.

 

She never even thinks about Jesse.

 

\---

 

Beca isn’t sure how she got here.

 

Well, she knows how she got here, in this house, with these girls. She knows all about the real estate process too. But she isn’t sure how she got _here_ : Laying on her bed with her laptop in her lap and her legs bent at the knee, feet flat so Chloe can paint her toenails while she goes over the Bellas history with Legacy.

 

It’s this part of her life she isn’t so sure about.

 

“Ow!” Beca flinches when Chloe pinches her Achilles. She pushes her headphones off her ears to hang around her neck. “What?”

 

Chloe grins widely at her. “Do you like this color?”

 

Beca peers down at her toes and swallows her grimace back. She vaguely remembers the name of it, Aphrodite’s Pink Nighty, or something like that. It’s hideous. “It’s great,” is what she ends up saying.

 

Chloe’s smile becomes impossible larger. “I knew you’d love it.”

 

Beca awkwardly catches Emily’s eye. Chloe’s hand slides up her leg. God, she wishes she had shaved last night. “You always know. Baby,” she adds, the word an unfamiliar shape in her mouth.

 

Emily smirks and looks between the two of them. Chloe leans forward and props her chin up on Beca’s knees. Beca taps her on the nose affectionately. There’s a moment – Beca counts to ten, even – before Emily clears her throat and Beca looks away.

 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. She pulls her headphones back over her ears.

 

“No, it’s cute.” Emily’s voice is still loud enough to puncture the beat of Naxxos’ “New Orleans” cueing up on Beca’s laptop. She turns the bass down on the song so she can hear them talk. “Was she totally not into you at the beginning? Like, were you all, ‘I’m Chloe and I’m _perfect_ ’ and Beca was all, ‘eh’ at you?”

 

Chloe laughs and sneaks a glance at Beca. “She was, actually. I tried to get her to join the Bellas at the Activities Fair on her first day and she completely blew me off. I had to climb in the shower with her to get her to join!”

 

Beca fiddles with some techniques while Chloe retells their whole meet cute. She pays attention when Jesse talks, sometimes, and she knows a meet cute when she hears one. Chloe just juices it up a little more and it sounds exactly like the start of a relationship - the shower, playing her audition song to Chloe, the Initiation party, throwing a punch and jail, Sectionals. Chloe’s hand trails up and down Beca’s leg, leaving goosebumps in its wake while she retells Beca’s entire freshman year like a love story, like she spent the whole time trying to get Beca to fall in love with her. She tells Emily about the Finals and tweaks the ending so Beca kisses Chloe, not Jesse, when they’re named the champions.

 

Emily squeals excitedly the whole time.

 

Later, when Emily stumbles down the stairs, tired and lethargic, Beca pulls her headphones back down and off her neck, laying them on her nighstand. She waits for Chloe to get up, but the redhead only nudges Beca over on the bed and scoots up so they’re both sitting against the pillows. She pulls Beca’s hand into her lap and starts tracing the lines on her hand.

 

Beca is better at this, the physical touch stuff. Some days, she craves it. Chloe always seem to know when – Beca is looking for it now – and she is always there for a back rub or a quick handhold.

 

“She’s completely sold on us.”

 

Beca hums in agreement, her eyes closed. Chloe has moved onto working out Beca’s hands, kneading and pulling her fingers.

 

“You were listening the whole time.”

 

Beca grins, cracking one eye open.

 

“You’re a sneak, Beca Mitchell.”

 

“And you’re a good storyteller.” Beca puckers her lips. “And then, Beca sang me a song at Finals and when they called us the winners, she kissed me.”

 

Chloe’s mouth drops open. “I do not sound like that!” She digs her fingers into Beca’s side and Beca tries to twist away from her. Chloe knows all the spots; her ribs, her knees, her armpits. She’s bigger than Beca, stronger. Beca doesn’t stand a chance. She calls ‘Uncle’ after a minute and Chloe just stops where she is, making herself comfortable with her head on Beca’s shoulder and an arm around Beca’s waist. Beca feels a small kiss against her collarbone.

 

“You sound like that, for the record,” Beca whispers.

 

Chloe nuzzles into Beca’s neck, breathing hot, sticky air against her pulse point. It makes Beca shiver a little. “You’re the worst fake-girlfriend.”

 

“You picked me, dude,” Beca points out.

 

Chloe nods, her eyelids already dropping and her breathe evening out. “I’ve picked you a hundred times.”

 

Beca doesn’t say anything. The words pluck at a place in her chest she doesn’t always remember is there. She pulls the covers up with one hand, tucking them around her and Chloe.

 

She’s nearly asleep when she hears Chloe whisper, “I’d pick you a hundred more, too.”

 

\---

 

It’s not like she’s even trying, really.

 

She’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off and fake-dating Chloe just kind of happens around her.

 

She sees Jesse less now, sure, but there’s a thousand reasons for that. There’s her internship, Worlds, graduation, this thing she’s trying with her dad and _Shelia_ where she bonds. Jesse requires a timeslot in there that Beca doesn’t always have.

 

But this Chloe thing happens around her without Beca even trying to make it happen. She goes about her day, does her homework and makes dinner and sings songs and curls up at the end of Chloe’s bed every night before Chloe all but pulls her down under the covers. She honestly forgets this charade she agreed to is still ongoing. She only remembers when Emily looks over and makes some weird face where her cheeks bubble and her mouth twists like she’s sucking a lemon. It’s seriously strange. It makes Beca look away. Chloe just moves closer.

 

With Jesse, Beca worries about where her hands are and if she wore deodorant and if her bra matches her undies. Stacie says these things are important in relationships. With Chloe, she takes kisses on the cheek and grabs hands and waists instinctually and breathes onion-breath on purpose and hardly puts on a bra because it’s just so much work. Amy says these things mean something but she never says what, she only grins ludicrously and winks. It makes Beca uncomfortable.

 

It’s not that Chloe isn’t worth the effort, or that she wouldn’t be, if they were actually dating. But it’s totally easier because Chloe has already seen Beca at her very best and her very worst and Beca has nothing to hide, really. (She doesn’t have anything to hide from Jesse. That’s important. They are open books. But there’s still got to be mystery. Stacie says that’s important too.)

 

And maybe Beca likes the extra attention she gets from Chloe, even though she won’t say so.

 

\---

 

Suddenly she’s not a huge fan of all the extra attention, though. It becomes harder to sneak out for her internship and even harder to try and sneak back into the house at night. It goes on for a month or so before Chloe starts frowning at her and then looking at the clock. The kisses on the cheek go from haphazard to a rarity. It reminds Beca of her mom, pre-divorce and just on the cusp of separation. There’s that look of apprehension, of concern, of frustration at it being so late, _again_ , with no explanation.

 

It shouldn’t surprise Beca when she comes home late one night to someone sitting in the living room waiting for her.

 

What’s surprising is that it’s Emily.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Emily looks up, startled. “Oh, gosh. You scared me. I was waiting for you.”

 

Beca is tired and not in the mood to chat. She’s got to find another avenue for this mix she’s trying to put together and it’s just not gelling like she’d hope. “Is everything okay?” she repeats.

 

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

 

Beca panics a little. Just a little bit. She blames it on the lack of sleep. Her voice cracks a little when she croaks out, “What do you mean?”

 

Emily stands – god, she is tall for a freshman. “It’s just that, well, I wanted to make sure everything was okay with you and Chloe.”

 

There’s a quick rush of relief in Beca’s chest before it constricts painfully. “What are you talking about?”

 

Emily twists her hands uncomfortably and Beca braces herself for the barrage of words that she knows Emily is dying to spit out. “I’ve noticed you two haven’t spent that much time together and she’s been kind of… neurotic in a scary way lately and you’ve been gone a lot and I haven’t even see you two kiss or anything in a while.”

 

Beca blinks wordlessly. The word _kiss_ echoes in her head like a gong. It rattles around inside her brain and she experiences a sudden, head-splitting migraine.

 

“It’s none of my business,” Emily rushes to say.

 

“Well, you brought it up,” Beca snaps back. She pushes her fingers into her temple. “I’m going to bed.” She doesn’t wait for an answer and takes the stairs two at a time, totally intending on going right to her room, stripping out of her clothes and crashing on her bed.

 

Instead, she finds herself taking the second floor stairs up to the small, finished attic and knocking on Chloe’s door. Beca doesn’t wait for a response. She pushes through the door and drops her bag by the dresser. Chloe blinks at her owlishly from where she’s propped up on her bed, the blue screen of the TV illuminating her face. Chloe checks the digital clock on the nightstand.

 

“You just getting home?”

 

The sentence makes something strange bloom in Beca’s chest. The way Chloe says _home_ makes it actually feel like one. Beca nods wordlessly and toes her shoes off, shucking her jacket off in the middle of the floor. She crawls up Chloe’s bed and squishes herself into the space between Chloe and the wall.

 

“Legacy thinks we’re on the rocks,” she mumbles against Chloe’s shoulder.

 

Chloe’s hum of agreement isn’t reassuring.

 

“Are we?” When Chloe says nothing, Beca sits up. “Are we?”

 

Chloe shrugs. “I never see you anymore. You never tell me where you are or where you’re going.”

 

Beca feels herself get defensive. Her body tenses and her throat closes tight to prevent her from saying something stupid. She tries to swallow her immediate frustration back down. She does it, barely. “I’m working on stuff for Worlds,” she manages.

 

Chloe sits up too, more awake now. “No, _we’re_ working on stuff for Worlds. You’re just… gone.”

 

Beca is suddenly exhausted. “I’m trying, Chloe.”

 

“No, you’re not. Unless by trying you mean you’re trying to be as invisible as possible.” Chloe stares at her, challenging her. “Because then you’re right, you are trying. You’re succeeding.”

 

“I don’t need this.” Beca climbs back out of Chloe’s bed, stumbling on her jacket in the middle of the floor.

 

“Maybe Emily is right,” Chloe snaps. “Maybe we are on the rocks.”

 

Beca snorts. “We can’t be ‘on the rocks’ if we’re not even really dating, Chloe. We’re _not_ _dating_. This was all some stupid plan and for what? To keep some legacy pledge who won’t have anyone else to sing with next year?” Beca flushes with anger.

 

Chloe’s cheeks are red. “I’ll sing with her.”

 

“Are you serious?” Beca clenches her fists tight, pressing them to her side. “You’re _graduating_ , Chloe.”

 

“Well maybe I’m not.” Chloe says it so matter-of-fact that it bowls Beca over. Half of the fight leaves her in a big rush and the other half is exasperated.

 

“What do you mean, maybe you’re not.”

 

Chloe shrugs. “I got the grade of my last paper back for Russian Lit. I only got a 54%.”

 

“Dude, come on. You can’t be – Chloe.”

 

“The Bellas are my life. And I’m not standing by while you, _our Captain_ , lets this ship sink. You don’t care about Worlds, fine. _I_ do.” Chloe steps closer with each sentence. “You don’t care about me, that’s fine. I don’t need you, Beca.”

 

Beca feels the room spinning. She’s not sure how it got to here. She’s not sure how this has even escalated. She’s not even sure why this hurts. “Chloe…”

 

“We’re done, Beca.” Chloe crosses her arms over her chest so Aubrey-esque. “You’re clearly not invested in this so we’re, we’re just done.”

 

And Beca is so tired and so angry and so confused that she picks up her jacket and her shoes and her bag and she slams the door behind her as she leaves. It feels like it rattles the whole house. She’s fuming all the way down to the second floor. She fumes past her own room and down into the living room. She fumes as she blows by Emily, sitting on the couch with wide, frightened eyes. She fumes as she slams the front door behind her and the whole way down the driveway. She gets as far as the end of the street before the fight rushes out of her as quickly as it rose up. Beca collapses onto the curb, her head in her hand.

 

Soon, there’s the soft patter of someone walking up next to her.

 

“Girls, amiright?”

 

Beca sighs. “What do you want, Amy?”

 

“Ouch, Beca. I’m friend, not food.”

 

“Friend, not foe,” Beca corrects.

 

Amy grins at her, a sharp glint of teeth in the streetlight. “I like Finding Nemo. What’re you doing out here? Don’t worry, I was out fighting a crocodile. I won.”

 

Beca shakes her head, her eyes burning now. “It’s nothing.”

 

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Amy says quietly. “It looks like you’re crying.”

 

Beca is, now. She’s practically sobbing. Amy scoots closer on the curb and Beca turns into her arms. Amy squeezes tight and Beca feels safe for a minute.

 

“Is this about Chloe? Or the internship?”

 

“What?” Beca wipes tears off her cheeks.

 

Amy shrugs. “I saw your ID badge in your purse when I went to borrow $20. And Cynthia Rose sent out of a group text that you and Big Red are fighting.”

 

Beca blinks tears out of her eyes and tries to follow along. “Wait, you went through my purse? And everyone knows we had an argument?”

 

Amy holds up a hand. “One thing at a time. Let’s do Chloe,” she adds before Beca can make a decision. “I don’t think they’re calling it an argument. I think Stacie is calling it a divorce. Poor little Legacy is convinced it’s her fault that you two broke up and Lilly has her convinced there’s going to be a custody battle.”

 

“What are you talking about? We didn’t break up.”

 

Amy pats her arm reassuringly. “I think you did.”

 

“We weren’t even dating, Amy.”

 

“I think you were.”

 

Beca groans and presses the heels of her palms into her eyes until she sees white. “It was some stupid thing she came up with. I don’t even know why I said yes.”

 

“I do. Chloe is a babe.” When Beca bears her teeth, Amy puts her hands up in surrender. “I might love me some man meat but I have 20/20 hotness vision.”

 

“I have a boyfriend,” Beca feels the need to point out. The face that Amy makes reminds Beca that she hasn’t even seen her ‘boyfriend’ in weeks, let alone talked to him. All that time has been filled with Chloe

 

“And I’m not sleeping with Bumper.”

 

“What?”

 

Amy waves it off. “Nevermind. The point is, I think you’re dating Chloe. Or you were, until you two woke the whole house up with your break up scene.”

 

Beca groans again. “I didn’t break up with her. She broke up with me.”

 

“Called it!” Amy pulls out her phone and fires off a message. “I mean, I’m sorry to hear that.” She pulls Beca into a bone-crushing hug. “Want to go to a strip club? It’ll cheer you up.”

 

“What? No.” Beca grimaces.

 

Amy shrugs like it’s her loss and they sit there for a while before going back inside the house.

 

“I wish everything would go back to how it used to be,” she whispers later, in the safety of the room she shares with Amy.

 

“I know,” Amy whispers back.

 

\---

 

If sneaking out before was hard, now it’s downright easy. No one is paying any attention to her since the ‘Bloe Up’, as Amy has dubbed it. Beca comes and goes as she pleases. No one is looking for her mashup. No one saves her a slice of the mushroom pizza. No one even bothers to stop talking when she walks into a room – they just talk louder. Beca complains to Jesse, but he doesn’t seem to care or think it’s a big deal.

 

Freshman-Beca wouldn’t have thought this was a big deal, but Senior-Beca feels like there’s a part of her insides being scooped out.

 

She starts doing things mostly alone again, eating and TV marathons and walking to class.

 

Everyone around her tries to help. Lilly keeps offering her matches and whispering about ‘cleaning out the ghosts of relationships past’ while she eyes all of the pictures on Beca’s walls, Chloe grinning widely in almost every single one. Jessica and Ashley tell her that their go-to breakup fix is Kevin Bacon movies and Ben & Jerry’s. Emily does this thing where she hovers and tries to touch Beca on the shoulder reassuringly.

 

“It sucks, Bec, but, hey! I didn’t break up with you,” Jesse points out.

 

It’s not reassuring. She’s more available now that none of the Bellas will even spare her a glance if Chloe is around but she still can’t find the time that Jesse wants.

 

Amy calls it a warning sign.

 

That’s why when Jesse dumps her Beca is already expecting it.

 

“You never have time for me. You’re always busy with something that isn’t me.”

 

Jesse has valid reasons and Beca actually feels bad. This is her second break up in as many weeks. But crossing their pre-planned dates out of her calendar feels better than it should and Beca is too busy with her internship to feel guilty about it.

 

But then she’s not so busy because Dax actually figured out how to do something right, and she’s just lonely again. Her toenail polish chips and no one notices or offers to replace it. Her shoulders and back tense up without Chloe. She still sleeps in one small corner of the bed even though she’s sleeping alone.

 

Beca looks around her room and realizes that there are holes where Chloe used to be, on her dresser, in her bed, in her closet.

 

That’s when Beca understands: her life is lonely without _Chloe_ and _Chloe_ makes all the difference and Beca doesn’t know why she ever thought any differently.

 

Chloe was her first call, her first text. She never had to ‘make time’ for Chloe, it never felt like a _chore_. Chloe just happened so seamlessly that when she left, she pulled out all the stitching she had done, putting Beca’s life together.

 

In the middle of a sip of coffee, on the freeway, Beca comes to the conclusion that she wanted to actually be dating Chloe. The thought catapults hot caffeine into her windpipe violently as she hits a pothole.

 

She wanted to be dating Chloe.

 

She wanted to hold her hand and cuddle during movie nights and make a face she didn’t mean when Chloe kissed her on the cheek. Beca wanted to stumble home, exhausted from her day, and crawl into bed with Chloe and feel _home_.

 

She blew it. Just like her coffee onto her skirt as she’s doing 65 mph on I-285.

 

Beca blew it.

 

\---

 

It’s not until a week after that she finds herself alone in a room with Chloe, who has done so, so well at always having someone around to buffer. Beca comes home late. From the sidewalk, all of the first floor lights are off and Beca isn’t expecting anyone to be in the living room.

 

Least of all Chloe.

 

“Oh.” Beca stumbles over the threshold awkwardly. The television screen lights up Chloe’s face and Beca swallows back the image of Chloe in her bed, telling Beca she doesn’t need her. “I didn’t know you would… I’m gonna…”

 

Chloe’s expression doesn’t change. “Okay.”

 

Beca turns to go up the stairs but stops, takes a deep breath and turns back around. “Cynthia Rose told me about you guys. Leaving for the retreat tomorrow,” she adds quickly. “Is that… Am I allowed to come on that? Or do you, I don’t know. Do you want me to stay behind?”

 

Chloe stares at her for a moment before sighing softly and standing, crossing the room to stop in front of Beca. She holds her breath, waiting for the ‘no’ to come. “You’re a Bella, Beca. Of course you can come.”

 

Beca offers a small smile. “Good. I think, I think we should talk?”

 

Chloe reaches out to smooth down Beca’s collar, her hands lingering longer than they need to and then Chloe leans forward and down, just a bit. She presses her lips to Beca’s forehead. “Pack two sweatshirts,” she whispers before she disappears up the stairs.

 

Later in bed, Beca stares at the ceiling for a long time before she falls asleep.

 

\---

 

After the fire, after she confesses her fears about being alone without her Bellas, after everyone goes around and says something, after Chloe sings ‘Cups’ and stares at her the entire time, after they sing ‘Torn’ so Amy can go to the bathroom in the woods, Beca can breathe again.

 

She breathes for exactly seven minutes before she turns back over to find Chloe staring at her with wide eyes.

 

“Come outside with me?” Chloe whispers. Beca nods wordlessly. “Grab that extra sweatshirt. I didn’t have room for one.”

 

Beca manages to tiptoe around Lilly and Jessica and Emily who is clinging to a stuffed bear like it’s a lifeline. Chloe zips up the tent slowly and takes Beca’s Barden sweatshirt from her hands. They walk for a bit, sticking close to the edges of the paths to avoid the bear traps. It feels strange to walk next to Chloe and not be touching her. Beca blames it on her withdrawal over the last few weeks. _That’s_ why she reaches out and hooks her arm through Chloe’s elbow.

 

“So you’re graduating this year,” she starts.

 

Chloe nods. “I think it’s time.”

 

“Time to pass that torch?”

 

“I passed it a long time ago, to you,” Chloe points out.

 

Beca clicks her tongue against her teeth. “I’m pretty sure I ended up giving it back to you. I wasn’t exactly the best captain this year.”

 

Chloe doesn’t agree with her but doesn’t disagree either. “I think you were really focused on what you were going to do when this chapter closes. It’s terrifying.”

 

Beca presses closer into Chloe’s side. “I’m scared too.”

 

“Really? Because you threw yourself into ‘life outside of Barden’ really easily.”

 

Beca sits down at the picnic table they’ve managed to find in the dark. “You want to know a secret? I’m not scared to graduate or to go out into the real world. I’m just… scared to do it alone.”

 

Chloe sits down next to her. “Bellas are forever, Beca.”

 

“But’s it’s never really the same, you know? I’m scared that someday I’ll live in a house where Amy isn’t challenging people to ride a trash can lid down the stairs or there isn’t a sing-off happening in the living room. I’m scared that I’ll go home and crawl into bed and there won’t be anyone there.”

 

“Sleeping alone is hard.” Chloe’s voice is strangled a little, like it used to be before the nodes surgery. “You wanna know my secret? I’m too used to having you around.”

 

“Is that why you never graduated?” Beca jokes. Chloe is quiet beside her. Beca sits up straighter. “Wait. Is that really why you never graduated?”

 

Chloe stands up and paces in front of her.

 

“Chloe,” Beca tries.

 

Chloe holds up a hand to stop her. “No. It’s embarrassing. Forget I said anything. Or didn’t say anything. Forget this part of the trip, okay? You’re graduating, I’m graduating. You’re going to LA and I’m going home to my parents where I can live rent free for a bit. It’s fine. We’re good. I’m good.”

 

Beca stops Chloe with a hand on her arm. “You’re rambling.”

 

“I’m embarrassed,” Chloe whispers back. “This was our last year and I spent nearly all of it going back and forth between acting like a irrational, overage crazy person and manhandling you. It was our last year and we stopped talking for nearly a month.”

 

“We’re talking now,” Beca offers weakly.

 

“I was scared of losing you and so I tried to pull you as close as I could and I just pushed you away.”

 

Beca grabs Chloe’s elbows and shakes her just a little. “I’m right here. You didn’t push me away. You did good.”

 

Chloe shakes her head and looks away, over Beca’s shoulder. “No, you don’t understand. I wanted you to be… I pulled you… I liked you. A lot.”

 

Beca smiles crookedly. “Liked?”

 

“Like,” Chloe amends.

 

“Which is why you convinced me that Emily was only a Bella because she thought we were cute together.”

 

The overhead light on the path isn’t bright, but Beca can see Chloe flush. “I thought it sounded legitimate. At first.”

 

Beca snorts. “Not a single part of it sounded legitimate.”

 

“But you went along with it.”

 

“I did.”

 

“Because…”

 

“Because you were my friend and you needed something.” Beca twists her gauge in her ear. “You wanna know a secret?” Beca waits for Chloe to nod. “I’m scared I’ll go home and crawl into bed and _you_ won’t be there.”

 

“Called it!”

 

Beca whips around to find Amy and Emily standing behind them, grinning ear to ear. Emily is putting a $20 into Amy’s hand. It takes Beca a second but then she plucks it out of Amy’s hand and pockets it.

 

“For the $20 you _borrowed_ earlier.”

 

“Touché, touché,” Amy says. She shoulders Emily. “Come on, Legacy. I think they’re gonna make out and I have perfect, 20/20 hot-vision. I don’t want my eyes to melt.”

 

Beca turns back to Chloe and is suddenly unsure of what to do with herself now. Chloe tugs at the pocket on Beca’s sweatshirt, pulling her close.

 

“Me, huh?”

 

Beca rolls her eyes. “Oh god.”

 

Chloe grins. “You picked me?”

 

“I’d pick you a hundred times,” she admits.

 

“Did I mention I have perfect hearing!” Amy calls from behind them.

 

\---

 

“Why didn’t she just drive like the rest of us?”

 

Beca shrugs. She steals a spoonful of Chloe’s Rocky Road ice cream. Chloe smirks at her. “This is rough,” she says.

 

Chloe smacks her lightly on the arm. “It’s romantic.”

 

“It’s Pat Benatar. And it’s not even one of the _good_ Pat Benatar songs.”

 

Amy hits a particularly high note and Beca winces. 

 

Emily sighs wistfully. She twists her spoon through the melted mess of ice cream in her cup. “It is romantic.”

 

Chloe smirks. “See? Emily thinks it’s romantic. And _you_ think it’s romantic.” She leans in towards Beca so their shoulders brush.

 

Beca grins back at her and lets Chloe thread an arm around her waist so her chin is on Beca’s shoulder. Her hair brushes against Beca’s neck and Beca shivers just a little bit but doesn’t move away.

 

“You know what I wonder?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Emily frowns a little. “How did Amy not know she was in love with Bumper? _I_ knew.”

 

Chloe grins widely. “I knew too.”

 

Emily turns to look at Beca. “Did you know?”

 

“I figured it out. Eventually,” Beca adds.

 

“It took her _forever_ ,” Chloe exclaims.

 

Emily’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Really? You might want to get those eyes checked, Captain.”

 

Chloe laughs into her neck. Beca rolls her eyes. “Shut up, Legacy.”


End file.
